shhhhleepy little smile...

there are few things better in life than knowing someone truly supports you 100%. It is an uncommon notion these days that one person will actually stick their neck out for another no matter what. to know that, to feel that deep within you that there is someone else out there in this world that is willing to do that for you, theres nothing like it. i experience this on a daily basis and do feel as though i am the luckiest man on earth. i do not go one day without thanking God for an absolutely amazing friend and soulmate and being grateful to Him for her. its like never worrying who will be there. frankly, its like never caring who else will be there because i know she will be. and thats all that matters to me. all that matters is that she feels that love and support reciprocated every day. because she is sleeping here next to me at 3:30 in the morning, not because she has to or needs to. but because she wants to. she chooses to. she chooses me. chooses to support me. even while shes sleeping. she chooses to sleep on this uncomfortable couch with a tiny blanket in a fully lit room, only to show her support for me. she supports all my dreams. she does not judge rather listen and inquire. and not seem interested but truly be interested. its shocking to actually find someone so interested in what i consider to be a somewhat boring life i have. even this post i find to be a bit rambled but its merely an overflow of emotion that builds up inside me every day.

Jam babe

if there were words to describe the way you make me feel

it wouldn’t be more and it wouldn’t be less

than jam babe to the moon and back

there were those days where I let you get away with it

but those were the times when I knew it best of all

that jam babe to the moon and back

a one way ticket to the moon will only get you out there

but youre my ticket back to our reality

so lets jam babe to the moon and back

of course its jam babe because it sure aint jelly

that stuffs meant for crunchy peanut butter

its jam babe to the moon and back

its like a frozen lemonade, like spelling out I L Y

into my hand or across the sky

cuz its jam babe to the moon and back

theres just you.

theres no eloquence. theres no over-the-top wording to evoke unimaginable feelings. theres just you. and you provide a pathway into a realm of emotion i never really thought possible. you provoke a sense of utter simplicity. can it really be this easy to care for someone this deeply? is it really so consuming that one man just begs and begs to offer everything he has humanly possible to offer. for the slight hope that she accepts. that she returns even a smidgen of affection for him. that she can so easily and whimsically determine his future. that she has such power over him. why? because its all out on the table now. theres nothing hiding. theres you. theres me. theres everything in between. and its up to us to jump through these hoops and get past these obstacles. for what? to meet somewhere in the middle. somewhere your life has to change just as much as mine so that this works. somewhere your life intertwines with mine. so that it really can be that simple. so that we can be who we were meant to be. do what we were intended to do. so that we can love each other unconditionally. why? because you have me in a headspin and youre the only one in control. because you have given so much. because you deserve the best. someone who will treat you the way you treat them. with the utmost respect, care and kindness. so that your friends dont pity you but envy you. so they dont question you why youre still there but how you got him. so i can dream about you every night with the only thing better is to wake up and realize its not a dream. so i get to say..yeah shes with me. so for that. for this. for us. ill be eternally grateful.

clarity in sight.

The sky is so clear and the stars are out tonight

The moon hasn’t been this bright in a while

They remind me of my reward that’s worth the fight

Of the love you receive when you go the extra mile.


I let my mind go adrift these past few days

Thinking of all the what ifs and assumptions I’ve made

Wondering why I let myself get lost in this haze

With only you as the reason I’ve stayed.


Getting so fired up about such a silly little thing

Has reminded me of how much I really do care

My feelings for you are not just a mood or a fling

They support the greatness of the love we share.

how do i say?

it is often the most sought after yet challenging concept in a relationship.
it takes years for some to realize it and others throw it around every day of the week.
it can be the hardest to admit, yet most rewarding when received.
within it, there comes an implication of commitment, a message of trust, hope and faith.
it can start fights when it is not reciprocated, it can end fights when it is reminded.
it has the most personal meaning yet the most universal understanding.
it bears with it a level of investment.
it is a simple gesture but carries enormous weight.
it is whispered in an ear or proclaimed for all to hear.
it is written in a card or displayed in lights.
it is delivered with roses or hugs or kisses.
if it is truly meant, it can wipe away tears and wash away fears.
it is often misused yet it is a promise for the future.
it is probably the least understood expression but has the biggest impact in one's life.
it is shared by those who care the most about each other.
it brings smiles to those who hear it from those who mean it.
it symbolizes my hope for our future.
it is my reason for writing this.
it perfectly describes my feelings towards you.

it is "i love you."

Have you...

Have you ever felt that feeling
Like the world is out to get you
That emptiness, in need of healing
The insecurity, so untrue

Have you ever felt that feeling
The one where you don’t wanna leave
The truth is so revealing
Its just too hard to believe

Have you ever felt that feeling
When you’re so needed
That life finally becomes appealing
And you realize you’ve succeeded

new years' resolutions

It's the first weekend back at school and everyone's running around, their new years' resolutions in tow, making up for all the things they didn't do in 2007. so as i sit here on my couch, the clock blinking 12:30 on the first friday back, i realize...have they accomplished everything they wanted to? Are they really going to live any differently than the last twelve months of their life? I have never been one to make new years’ resolutions, but after reflecting on 2007 maybe I should be.

Resolutions have always had a negative connotation in my mind. Why is one day better than any other to start living a better life? What does having a resolution mean? How do I know if im “being a better person”? what happens if I don’t stick to my resolution? These are all questions I ask myself when I hear about someone making a new years’ resolution. I feel like so many people have such big goals and dreams on January 1^st that by January 5^th they are burnt out on their resolution. It wouldn’t be called a new years’ resolution if it wasn’t expected to take all year to complete. If I really wanted to change something about my life starting on the first day of the new year, then I would feel I accomplished something if it lasted til thanksgiving. However in today’s society I feel as though if you aren’t on to something bigger and better by valentine’s day then all hope is lost.

This brings me to another thought I had this weekend. If I were in the midst of changing something about my life, I would not expect for it to come overnight. I am not the most stubborn person in the world, yet I know that changing one’s behavior is up there as one of the most gradual of all changes in human nature. Maybe im old-fashioned, maybe I just like to learn the hard way, maybe I just don’t enjoy change…whatever the case may be, I am not about to go at it quickly. So here I am, accepting that change is inevitable, hoping that itll come, just not too fast.

So my new years’ resolutions…to not let the opportunities to change pass me by. To have 2007 become a page in a scrapbook with only the highlights mentioned. To recognize the opportunities to grow and take advantage of them. And most of all, to not keep to my resolutions because I made them on January 1^st but because they are a part of who I want to become in the rest of my life.